"You're Not in Labor" : Madelines Birth Story
All of my pregnancies and deliveries where different. Madeline’s pregnancy was unique to say the least. She was my first pregnancy that I was pregnant through the summer. Isaac was born in Feb and Logan was born in March, so the majority of these pregnancies where straight through the winter, which is the BEST time to be pregnant I’ve discovered: comfy sweaters, leggings, and many excuses to not leave the house. But a summer pregnancy was a whole new ball game for me.
The early stages of Madeline’s pregnancy weren’t terrible. I showed super early, she was my third after all. We still went to concerts, a Military Ball, Enlisted Banquet, random date nights, and the beach. But as the summer months grew hotter, I had a couple of episodes where I almost passed out and threw-up once from the heat. I had to keep myself hydrated and out of the sun for a majority of the rest of the pregnancy, which is not fun when it’s the middle of summer and you just want to do things outside with your kids.
I craved Panera and Starbucks (my two usual cravings) but for the first time had the single most intense aversion to onions. I couldn’t have them in my house, couldn’t smell them at restaurants, couldn’t be anywhere near them. If I was going to anyone’s house I had to politely request that they hide ALL the onions.
In August, we had a 'Baby Sprinkle' which ended up being much more like a shower since she was my first girl and we had given away most of our baby stuff. I wanted it to be perfect so I tried to hire someone to make Royal Icing cookies for it, a nice little extra touch. It was going to be too expensive ($12 a cookie!) so I decided just to do it myself. After hours of trying I finally figured out just how to do it and made my very first batch of cookies. This has become a hobby that I love to do now. It's funny how random things like that impact the rest of your life. At the Sprinkle I was so grateful for everyones generosity with it and so grateful for how excited everyone was for our baby girls arrival. We announced her name that day, Madeline Frances. Frances is for my grandmother and someone who is so important to me. I love that we were able to honor her in this way.
On September 30th, we celebrated my 30th Birthday. We took our first trip to Longwood Gardens to see their fountain light show, and it has since become one of my favorite places. It was never how I expected to celebrate my 30th, but it was absolutely perfect. I loved getting to spend time with just our little family and have one last night out before my belly consumed my body. And, little did we know, it would be our last trip anywhere as a family of 4.
On October 3rd, my husband was 2 weeks away from finishing up another military tour at his base in DE. My due date was 2 weeks later, the 17th, and quickly approaching. On the 3rd, my husband received a conference request from his civilian company. This is the same company that we had spent weeks at time living in hotels in DC for with the whole family (see my previous blog post for the background on that). After a brief conversation, they told him that they had “eliminated his position.” Which was a ridiculous lie, they filled his exact position with someone else. Heads up to any military families reading this, it’s a loophole companies might try and use. But, after everything he had done for this company, we never expected they would do this to him. They did it solely because he was on military leave and couldn’t be there. Plain and simple.
The stresses piled on with this: My husband was just about to finish this tour of military duty and not have a civilian job to go back to, he was going to have to spend time looking for another job instead of time with our new baby, I had no idea how I was going to manage all the kids and a new baby, how would we pay for things? I hadn’t completed my Masters so I couldn’t work in the field I’d been preparing to work in for the last five years, I was about to deliver a baby so who would hire me, how could I get a job? All of this consumed me. I went into the labor the next day.
Madeline was born on October 5th, 2017 at 5:33 in the morning. The only thing that stands out about this labor, was that I shouldn’t have been in labor. I started having contractions early on in the day on the 4th. I kept about my business because based on my last two pregnancies, there was no way I was going to go almost two weeks early. I figured they must just be Braxton Hicks. But, by that evening I started sounding the alarm. My contractions where getting more intense and more frequent. I still couldn’t believe it would be happening this soon. We called my doctor who had me come into their office to check me. Everyone in the waiting room saw me go through heavy contractions. It is highly embarrassing to be in labor in a waiting room at a doctor’s office when no one else is. They called me back to check and when the doctor examined me, she told me that nothing was happening down there. I wasn’t in labor. Go home, drink fluids, and it wasn’t time. I was in disbelief. The contractions where very real and I was in so much pain trying to manage them. They were all hitting in my back and I was so panicked with this situation now. How could my doctor say I wasn’t in labor? This was my third, I know what they feel like but was all of this in my head? She thought maybe I was dehydrated so drinking fluids would help. They would see me next week at my regular scheduled appointment.
My husband stopped at Target and went in and got me 3 cases of seltzer water, the only water I could drink at the time with my cravings. While he was in there, I remember sitting in the car feeling like I was dying every time a contraction hit, but then telling myself this has to be in my head, the doctor said it wasn’t happening.
We got home, and I tried to keep convincing myself of this. I ate the Panera meal I had saved. Drank as many seltzers as possible. And then tried to lay down. The contractions wouldn’t stop. We called the doctors office again and they said to just drink more water, I was probably just triggering them from dehydration. By this point I had chugged about 8 seltzers. I went in and tried to take a bath to relax myself and continued telling myself this wasn’t happening.
The bath relaxed me a little but they were still hitting and getting worse. As the final bath water drained, it happened. I projectile vomited all the food I had just eaten, all the seltzer, everything, all over my entire body and the tub. I’ve never seen so much food. I tried to clean it, but as the contractions where getting stronger, I couldn’t stand up to get the shower head. I had to call my husband into the scene. He cleaned me up as I laid there in agony, completely humiliated, and ‘not in labor’. I begged him to call the doctor again. After he told them what happened, they asked if I had a bloody show or any other signs that something was happening besides saying I was feeling the contractions. I was still in the tub but couldn’t move to see. He noticed something. I think his exact words where “Ew! Chels! Something is coming out of you!” It was my bloody show. Our sex life was going to be great after all this. They promptly told me to get to the hospital. This was happening.
When I finally arrived they checked me and I was so far along, 5cm dilated already, I could receive an epidural. The epidural worked, thank God. It didn’t take long and I had to push. Madeline was born at 5:33am. She was 8lbs 7 oz (my tiniest baby!) and 21 ½ inches long.
My classes were supposed to end a week later, I had this pregnancy perfectly timed, but since she arrived early, I was still in the middle of everything. I remember sitting on the bed the day she was born, and dictating a paper to my husband, discussion boards, and reading up on comparative world education with her. It made for an interesting hospital stay to say the least!
While Madeline’s epidural worked, something happened when they put it in. They had to do it twice and I am not sure exactly what went wrong but the result was that after her labor was over, I had severe debilitating headaches. Apparently this is somewhat common and the only way to fix this is with a spinal tap. I received one the day I was leaving the hospital and it helped the headaches finally dissipate. Epidurals are amazing, but there are truly so many things that can go wrong as I’ve been subject to. I still wouldn’t deliver without one though.
In the end, all that matters is that Madeline was born perfect and healthy. Except for her heart. She has two atrial septal defects and a pulmonary valve stenosis. I can’t help but wonder if my pregnancy had gone to full term, if she wouldn’t have this. I have a lot of guilt and blame that I put on myself for going into labor early and for not managing my stress better. As we continue to monitor her heart, we are finding her the best doctors and ensuring that she gets everything she needs. There is a chance the 2 atrial septal defects could close on their own and we are so hopeful for that. It would be so nice to be able avoid heart surgery on our little girl. For the next few years, it’s just a waiting game.
