Isaac's Birth Story

If you asked me to describe my three different childbirths, they would sound like they are coming from a different person each time. You’ve probably heard that every child is different, even amongst siblings (especially amongst siblings), but I had no idea this also extended to how they entered the world.

Let’s start with Isaac….

Isaac was not planned. I'm ok with this. He can know this. He is no less loved than any of my other children. He has been the greatest and most wonderful surprise I could have ever asked for. But, I was 25, just re-starting Grad school in a new program, living in an apartment in Alexandria, VA and dating a man in Kansas City (The Missouri side of KC, I’ll never understand why it’s not in Kansas).

Thankfully, this man was someone I knew I was going to marry and we had already started looking at engagement rings together when we found out we were going to be parents. Finding out about Isaacs pregnancy is another blog entry in itself that I will get to (hopefully soon).

But, since Isaac was unplanned, I wasn’t sure when it was exactly that I became pregnant. I was on birth control, in the sugar pill section, when it happened. I didn’t take it regularly (I *usually* took it every day and not at the same time). But, because I didn't know when it happened, we relied on a best guess. This will forever haunt this pregnancy because at the end, I was off by two weeks. And, those two weeks that it was off by mattered, a lot. We had an off the books ultrasound done at what we were told was 5 weeks based on his size. As the pregnancy progressed and he grew and grew and grew, we learned that he had probably been farther along than that first ultrasound revealed. And all of our dates for things where then off. He was almost too big to see certain things at designated ultrasounds and it impacted so many other things throughout the pregnancy.

My morning sickness with him hit all day long from week 7 on. It never stopped. I could barely leave my apartment in the beginning, and then house a few months later, to walk our dogs. The only thing I could keep down where carbs. I went through phases of cravings: Sherbet ice cream, Panera Bacon Turkey Bravo sandwich (this same craving reappeared during Madelines pregnancy), Kellogs Special K with Red Berries... I couldn't sleep at night so I resigned myself to laying on the bathroom floor with the shower running hot to create a sauna type atmosphere. I became incredibly itchy and would have to scratch my legs and feet with a hair brush to alleviate it... I've had better pregnancies.

Flash forward to week 38 when I knew I was 40 weeks pregnant and he still wasn’t arriving. The closer you get to 42 weeks, the more your chance of a stillbirth increases, so I was understandably upset when the doctors wouldn’t induce me. I had a healthy, normal, pregnancy, so there was no medical reason to push him along in their eyes. We walked and walked and walked. I saw all the National Monuments in DC frequently during these last few weeks. I ate spicy food as much as I could. We tried every single thing. At 42 weeks (his actual gestation time) I finally went into labor.

On Feb 6th, the contractions started. I was suddenly ravenous but had no appetite. I made my husband get me Noodles & Company (Penne Rosa from there was my comfort food at the time). I promptly tried to force it down (I was able to eat about half) and went and laid down upstairs. The first contractions hit and I wasn’t sure if I was in labor. They were light and easy. But they were coming in waves, and becoming more frequent. We sounded the alarm for my parents to drive down from NJ and for Matt’s parents to come out from KC.

48 hours later, the contractions had increased to an unsurmountable amount of pain and where hitting every 5 minutes. I had been sent home from the hospital twice, and my body was making no progress towards dilating or effacing. I was laying in my bed at home, with a full house (my parents and Matts parents had arrived) in extreme agony. My contractions where hitting every 5 minutes and I had forgotten everything about how to breath to relieve them (if you are expecting, practice the breathing techniques! This saved me in labor 2 and 3 from this insurmountable excruciating pain). I would tense my body as much as I could every time they were hitting. This made it SO much worse. I literally thought I was going to die

We made our way to the hospital again because of the pain I was in. I wasn’t dilating and I still wasn’t effacing. They hooked me up to a morphine drip so I could sleep (it had already been 2 days of no sleep, no eating, and extreme pain). Looking back and understanding the risks of morphine during labor I wouldn't have made this same choice. At the time, it was my only way of surviving.

The next morning, they sent me home again.

Finally, after 50+ hours, they admitted me to the hospital. I had barely started effacing and dilating. They broke my water and finally gave me an epidural. When they put the epidural in, I expected all the pain to go away like they promised in all the birth books and classes. Instead, my right leg went completely numb (all the doctors said that wasn’t possible and it was in my imagination) and my whole body still felt all of the pain I had before. I thought this must be what it is supposed to be and stopped questioning it.

Isaac Matthew was born at 12:19 PM on Feb 9th. He was 9lbs 10 ounces and 22.5 inches long. I felt every single thing. My sons head size was off the charts (99%+) and I felt every rip. I kept watching the clock when it was happening. At 11:45 the nurse said he would be out by 12:30 PM so I focused on that. It was the only thing that got me through.

After he was born, I felt every stitch that went in. They finally realized when I was feeling the stiches that the epidural had not worked. They tried to numb me more but it was such a mess that they couldn’t do much to help. So, if anyone asks, I had the epidural, but it was as close as you can get to a natural birth. It worked completely against me because if I hadn’t had it, I would have been trying all the natural ways to help relieve the pain, but instead thought this is what everyone always felt and just dealt with it.

On social media, all we shared was our happy family pictures. We left out the gory details of how much pain I encountered during this labor and delivery. Because in the end all that mattered was that he was born happy and healthy. He was perfect.

Holding Isaac literally made everything okay. I'll say again it was 100% worth all the pain and the 56 hours of terrible labor. I learned so much that helped me with the 2nd and 3rd delivery. I didn’t advocate for myself when the epidural didn’t work and I didn’t advocate for myself to stay at the hospital and not be sent home again and again and again. It was my first baby, I didn’t trust my instincts, and I thought the doctors and nurses had my best interest at heart. I learned a lot. Let this birth story be a lesson for anyone, as much as it was for me, that you know what you are doing, trust your instincts, and fight for what you need. Always advocate for yourself.

Plus, you forget most of it. I mean, I did have two more after this (and now desperately want a 4th). And, my next two deliveries where nothing like this. I rarely hear stories like this. Don’t think this will happen to you. But, in the off chance you experience something like this- TRUST YOURSELF.

For a glimpse of the other two deliveries- I’m titling them:

Logan’s Birth Story: Don’t Sneeze!

Madeline’s Birth Story: You’re not in labor…