A Belated Mother's Day Post
The hardest transition for me as a mother was going from zero kids to one kid. Of course, one son to two sons and then two sons to three kids had its challenges, but none where as significant as that first adjustment. In that one second that you first hold your baby, everything changes. For moms that only have one child, NEVER let anyone undermine your accomplishment or negate the challenges you face if you only have one baby. One baby is the hardest in my opinion. You are re-learning how to navigate your world that you have become so accustom to in a brand new way. You have to put someone else first 100% of the time but still manage eek out your own personal time to maintain sanity. You have to give up your body and understand you will never get it back the way it was before. I choose to focus on how it’s been made better with more beautiful curves instead of the tight tummy skin I’ve lost. I had to let go of all the mom shaming I had done and opinions I had “When I have kids I’ll never let them have screen time. They’ll listen to Bach all the time and never have a tantrum in public because I’m going to be a good mom compared to those others...” I literally said that and while I strive for that, I also have come to realize that if my child never has a tantrum then something is wrong with them and they're not learning to process their emotions properly. Also, I was an asshole. Kids aren’t born as little adults. Motherhood is guiding them and taking those tantrum moments to teach them something new about navigating the world. If you like organization, welcome to chaos. There are things that aren’t pretty that I would never share on social media like bloody noses (my one son ran the other into a hammock pole last week and I have literally never seen so much blood) and basically everything that happens during potty training (think poop all over every bedroom item). You realize you can’t follow the textbook (and heads up to moms of one, the things you learned with your first child can be completely different with your second if you are blessed to have one). But, no matter how many negatives or difficulties there are to motherhood, every moment you have with your little one makes it beyond worth it.
Working moms, I have no idea how you do it. I see how exhausted my husband is when he comes home from working all day long and I don’t know how he puts that extra into the day to spend the quality time with the kids and me. Let alone, if he had to fill all the expected tasks moms are supposed to do in the house like clean and make dinner. I have so much respect for how much you have to spread yourself and still manage to keep it all together at the end of the day.
Stay at home moms, I feel your exhaustion. I feel your isolation. And I know too well the daily struggles we face but don’t talk about. Instead I’ve learned to focus on how every day makes all of it absolutely worth it. I focus on how lucky I am that I get to be the one with my children right now. I feel so lucky that I have even been blessed with babies. It is such a gift to spend this time with them. Even on the hardest days, one belly laugh from my toddler cures it all. And if that doesn’t do it, then there’s always wine. I’ve learned to take that extra five minutes and make sure I’ve practiced self-care and be a little late. And let me tell you, I cannot stand to be late. Five minutes early is on time in my book. But I need to make sure that I am taken care of so that I can be a better mom to my kids. It’s necessary. Like they say, put your oxygen mask on first.
Every day I am so grateful for my children. I know how lucky I am. I have never suffered a miscarriage. The first time I became pregnant I was on birth control. When I wanted to get pregnant it happened right away for my second. And after a few months, and a very quick realization my thyroid was off, it happened very quick for my third. I will never fully understand the pain and heartache those have gone through who want to have babies but have encountered those struggles. I cannot pretend to understand because I feel like I would be doing them an injustice. But, I can empathize and that small portion of what I know those who struggle with it must be feeling brings me to tears and breaks me. My heart has crumbled for the moms who have lost children and the parents that are fighting unimaginable battles for their babies because I know how great this gift is and how much each second with your little one is worth fighting for. My heart goes out to all those mommies out there who haven’t yet gotten to meet their precious little one.
On this day, Mother’s Day, I want to share my deepest admiration and love for all of you. No matter how you attained the title of “mother” or if your heart is waiting for that title, you all are super hero’s and do the unimaginable every day. I see you. I support you. So much love to all the mamas out there
